The shrill beep that heralds a text message on my phone roused me from an all-too-brief and fitful slumber at 7:04 this morning:
taylor died … how horrible!
It was the news no one in the NFL wanted to hear, but after the smattering of reports leaking from South Florida over the previous 24 hours regarding Sean Taylor, it was anything but a surprise. When I had told my anesthesiologist girlfriend about the extent and location of his wounds, she seemed amazed that he’d managed to cling to life throughout a day as harrowing as it was sad for his nearest and dearest. Such is the heart of a champion athlete, unbridled until its final beat.
In Denver, it reopens wounds that have healed for some in Broncos Country, but have only begun to scab over for others.
Another death by gunshot.
Maybe I’m wrong, but my brain repeatedly circles around to an idealist’s notion, that all killings at the barrel of a gun are ultimately preventable. It certainly isn’t part of the natural order of things for vibrant, healthy 24-year-olds like Taylor and Darrent Williams to leave the world like this — or for the thousands of others who die in similar fashion, leaving friends and families mired in grief after such senseless extinguishment of life’s glowing flame.
I grasp for answers, but it’s a futile quest. Rational answers just don’t exist, and the mind keeps going in circles. At some times it is unable to focus; at others it is unable to comprehend. At all moments it’s somewhat paralyzed by recollections of New Year’s morning and the days that followed in Denver. Even as I meandered through the morning and afternoon with my parents, spending a little extra time with them before they flew back to Florida, thoughts about the tragedies of the moment and the ones the Broncos endured this year flood my mind.
As I write this, Redskins coach Joe Gibbs is speaking at a press conference. Again, the mind flashes back to those depressing days at the year’s dawn, when Broncos Head Coach Mike Shanahan sat down at a similar gathering and through quivering voice shared his memories of Williams and anguish over his team’s loss. It is as though it is Jan. 1 and 2 all over again.
I go looking for a photo to accompany this piece, and the shots are so hauntingly familiar to the ones to which my eyes bore witness … fans grief-stricken, their faces stained with tears, outside team headquarters … bouquets, balloons and signs abutting the entryways … candles lit in rememberance, in tribute, in silent vow to symbolize keeping the fallen player’s soul and spirit alive. As it was at Dove Valley nearly 11 months ago, so it is today in the hills and woodlands of northern Virginia.
In the midst of my thoughts and recollections, for some reason my mind pauses to wonder:
“Did this kind of stuff happen when I was a kid?”
Somehow, my mind, entangling the randomly woven webs of thought, has the idea that tragedies like the one that befell Taylor are a recent phenomenon, that this sort of thing didn’t happen in what I perceive as “back in the day.”
Then I remember Len Bias and Don Rogers. A No. 2 overall NBA Draft pick and an NFL first-round choice. Both college stars in their respective sports; both with boundless possibilities of life before them; both dead by drugs within nine days of each other in June 1986. With both, I surely felt their passings could have been prevented.
But the circumstances of Taylor’s death, and any societal implications from that and from other deaths, both recent and in the past — don’t matter much right now. Nothing will bring him back, just like nothing could bring Williams back. All you can do is move forward. Certainly, through the Darrent Williams Teen Center and other endeavors, the Broncos have found ways to ensure that his name far outlives the man, and that some blessings can be extricated from such a senseless tragedy. But I think everyone in Broncos Country would rather have Williams around than his name on a building, and I’m certain everyone who follows the Redskins and Hurricanes feels the same of Taylor, no matter what the ‘Skins and University of Miami do to commemorate and sustain the memory of their beloved teammate, safety and friend.
To the Redskins, to Taylor’s family and friends, and to everyone who sheds tears today, I can’t offer much — just my prayers, and those of everyone in Broncos Country who know all too well the sadness, confusion, anger and grief you surely feel today. We mourn with you.
Tags: Darrent Williams, Personal Thoughts, Sean Taylor, Washington Redskins
hey andrew, i appreciate all of your blogs man. But i think in light of all this that we need to do more to remember darrent. There isnt even a number 27 or anything like that on the broncos website
Mase, inspiring words as always. We both “hit the blog” when we need some relief. You got it right and the world will not forget Sean Taylor, just as we — Broncos connection aside — will never forget D-Will. “All ready!” R.I.P. No. 27 and No. 21.
Thank-you.
This is truly sad that this keeps happening and without any explanations as to why anyone would do such a thing. My prayers and thoughts go out to Taylor’s family and I hope at least they can find peace and justice and catch the person who did this. And I also wish the same thing for DWill family and Nash’s family. And although I want Darrent to be remembered just as much as anyone else here in Broncos Country, he does have an entire Teen Center in his honor. Plus, if something was put on this website in honor of DWill then I’d want the same thing for Damien Nash. He wasn’t killed but he was apart of this team just as much as Darrent. They both are truly missed and loved and will be forever remembered in my heart and life.
May they all Rest In Peace, #27 and #29 and Taylor.
GO BRONCOS, ALL READY!!!!!!!!
I first heard about Sean at 4:00 this morning…..I was shocked and felt empty inside…..same way i felt finding out about Darrent.
This brings back memories from that early morning on January 1st…..its not a good feeling….
Well its the Redskins…..but everytime time a NFL player leaves us….were all going to feel this way,the NFL means so much to us….feels like were one big family that needs to stick together.
God Bless Sean and Darrent
#27 and #21
Yet another reason why it is so hard to trust people in this world. It’s hard to let children outside, and it’s hard to comfortably own nice things. It is so sad, and I am disappointed in the light people like this shed on our otherwise brilliantly beautiful world. It is hard to prey to an “almighty, all good, and all knowing being” when things like this happen.
Such a fine safety He was. Such a damn shame He’s gone. God must have one hell of a defense up there now with Darrent and Sean in there. I’ll always remember that hit Taylor gave to that punter who tried to run a fake in the Pro Bowl. Mowed Him down!
RIP Sean, You will be missed.
Does anyone out there thing he was involved with the wrong crowd and deserved it.
Sorry, computer locked up. Continuing from my last post. I do feel for his family but he did come across as a trouble-maker. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not a cold-hearted @##, I just see where all of these professional athletes tend to get mixed up with crowds that are not always into good clean fun. It almost always involves drugs, alcohol, and unfortunately guns. I guess guns make you feel more like a man.
Hmm, I wonder why?
Whether he deserved it, as you put it, is irrelevant. There’s a mother and father who lost a son and a little kid who just lost a dad … and people get in trouble like that from all walks of life … not just pro sports.
Great words, Andrew.
Hey Andrew, I asked this on a different post: Did DJ Williams play with Sean Taylor at Miami? And thanks for your response to what Tankers said.
They did … in fact, Williams and Taylor were part of the same draft class in 2004.